Hi. This is Richard here in England with my trusted friends, my laptop and my teleprompter. I’m going to give you a speech. It’s made up if passages written by the following: 
Adolf Hitler, on the 26^th of September, 1938, in relation to Poland, 
Vladimir Putin, on the 24^th of February, 2022, in relation to Ukraine, 
Benjamin Netanyahu, on the 28^th of October, 2023, in relation to Gaza, 
and Donald Trump on the 28^th of February, 2026, in relation to Iran. 
I’ll leave you to decide who said what; or you can go stright down to the details and see it all explained there. But where’s the fun in that? 
All you really need to know as you listen to this, is that two of these men are supposed to be the United Kingdom’s enemies, while the other two have for ever been its allies. 
Here goes: 
“I am resolved to remove from our frontiers the element of uncertainty, the everlasting atmosphere of conditions resembling civil war. I will see to it that in the East there is, on the frontier, a peace precisely similar to that on our other frontiers…..I will not war against women and children. I have ordered my air force to restrict itself to attacks on military objectives. If, however, the enemy thinks he can from that draw carte blanche on his side to fight by the other methods he will receive an answer that will deprive him of hearing and sight. …From now on bombs will be met with bombs. Whoever fights with poison gas will be fought with poison gas. Whoever departs from the rules of humane warfare can only expect that we shall do the same…..For six years now I have been working on the building up of our defences. My trust in them is unshakeable. When I called up these forces and when I now ask sacrifices of our people and if necessary every sacrifice, then I have a right to do so, for I also am today absolutely ready, just as we were formerly, to make every personal sacrifice….The war ….will be long and difficult – and we are ready for it. This our second war of independence. We will fight to defend our homeland. We will fight and not retreat. We will fight on land, at sea and in the air. We will destroy the enemy above ground and below ground. We will fight and we will win. This will be a victory of good over evil, of light over darkness, of life over death. In this war we will stand steadfast, more united than ever, certain in the justice of our cause. This is the mission of our lives. This is also the mission of my life. On your behalf, on behalf of all of us, I pray for the wellbeing of our soldiers. May God make the enemies who rise against us be struck down before them! May He subdue our enemies under them and crown them with deliverance and victory. Together we will fight and together we will win. Whoever tries to interfere with us, and even more so to create threats for our country, for our people, should know that our response will be immediate and will lead you to such consequences that you have never experienced in your history. We are ready for any development of events. All necessary decisions in this regard have been made. I hope that I have been heard.
This regime will soon learn that no one should challenge the strength and might of our Armed Forces. I built and rebuilt our military in my first administration and there is no military on earth even close to its power, strength or sophistication. My administration is taking every possible step to minimize the risk to our personnel in the region. Even so, and I do not make this statement lightly, the enemy regime seeks to kill. The lives of courageous national heroes may be lost, and we may have casualties. That often happens in war. But we’re doing this not for now. We’re doing this for the future. And it is a noble mission. We ask God to protect all of our heroes in harm’s way. And we trust that with his help, the men and women of the armed forces will prevail. We have the greatest in the world, and they will prevail.” 
I don’t know about you, but I can’t help feeling that this speech really needs to end with one mighty ‘HEIL!’ But the question is ‘heil’ who? Who gets the ‘heil’? 
Till next time.