OPEN LETTER TO SIR KEIR STARMER

(This is a copy of a letter I intend to send to Sir Keir Starmer. I do not expect it to have any effect on its own; but this is the only kind of action I am in a position to make before the next election. I hope that enough others with the vote are doing something like this own their own account so that in time the pressure will tell.)

Sir,


It is to the eternal shame of the United Kingdom that its political representatives in the UK Parliament, most notably yourself, are willing to give their unstinting and unwavering support to the state of Israel.

Israel claims to be, and is accepted by the UK as being, a democratic nation. However, Israel’s actions in relation to the ordinary people of Palestine and to its own Arab citizens have since its founding in 1948 run counter to every accepted definition of democracy as we understand it in the UK.

Israel also claims to be the only truly Jewish state, a characterisation which has been all too readily accepted by its sponsor nations, especially the UK and the USA.

But it cannot be a Jewish state for two reasons: one, that about 50% of its population is not Jewish, and two, that there are a significant number of Jews, both inside Israel as well as outside it, who do not agree with Israel’s attempt, fundamental to its underlying political philosophy, at dishonouring and displacing the Palestinian people.

Indeed, Israel’s ambition to be a Jewish state at the expense of the non-Jews living in the region it controls by military force is racist by its very nature.

This racism is the foundation on which it has built its particular system of apartheid in Israel, and which justifies its various and highly injurious actions in the occupied territories, including the ghettoisation of Gaza and the forced evictions in the West Bank and East Jerusalem.

Israel goes so far in its pursuit of affirming its image as the true Jewish state as to deflect all reasonable criticism of its actions by characterising such criticism, regardless of its source, as being anti-Semitic.

Anti-Semitism once upon a time was defined very simply as being Jew-hatred, i.e. a sense of enmity to all Jews and all things Jewish. Now, under pressure from Israel, there is a new definition.

This is encapsulated in the IHRA definition of anti-Semitism which the Labour Party, against all reason, has woven into its own policies and which you are using in the most arbitrary fashion as an excuse to exclude members from the party whose political convictions do not fit into the game of realpolitiks that you have chosen to play.

According to your interpretation of the IHRA definition, any-one who speaks out against the Israeli enterprise in Palestine for any reason is speaking out against the whole Jewish people, on whose behalf and with whose complete approval Israel is acting.

This blanket approach to criticism has resulted in Israel routinely accusing even its Jewish opponents of anti-Semitism, and has established a concerted campaign against its Jewish opponents which allows for the most personal and abusive terms to be used against them that cannot be used against non-Jews, because it is their Jewishness which is brought into question.

You have adapted and adopted this position to meet your own political ends.

So, because many anti-Zionist Jews believe that Israel is attacking them for their particular interpretation of Jewish history, political philosophy, and religion, it can hardly be surprising that their understanding of Israel’s response to their views, and your response likewise, is that it is in itself anti-Semitic.

In other words, the Labour Party, historically an internationalist and anti-racist party, has chosen now to stand, under your leadership, with a strongly nationalist and racist state whose claim to be a full democracy is entirely false, and is indeed carrying out its own version of the desperately unjust and demonstrably anti-Semitic campaign which Israel is waging against its opponents, opponents who are acting solely on humanitarian grounds.

That is irony enough.

But there is an added, and very bitter, irony, which is that Israel has won the support of real anti-Semites. Israel is admired round the world by far-right parties and organisations because they approve of the scope and effectiveness of Israel’s anti-Palestinian, anti-Arab and anti-Muslim discrimination, and who likewise approve for their own reasons of Israel’s message to the Jews of the world that Israel is the only safe place for Jews to be.

This inevitably feeds the rise in anti-Semitism round the world. Israel’s words and actions feed the notion that all Jews are racially antagonistic to the Palestinians because all Jews believe Palestine is theirs by natural right. Accordingly this confirms the traditional anti- Semitic stereotype which depicts Jews as thinking of themselves as a superior species of human being.

So it is that Israel finds allies among those who promote anti-Semitism in the world; and yet, Israel does not concern itself with that, so long as it benefits as a state from such alliances.

All of this seems to have passed our political masters by, as it has passed you by. And why would this be? Because of the benefits they themselves gain from Israel’s role in maintaining a balance of power in the Middle East which favours the global capitalist states of the West.

This being said, I fail to understand what earthly benefit can there be for the Labour Party in all this.

Maybe it has something to do with the existential fear shared by most of Israel’s allies, a fear of being tarred with the brush of anti-Semitism, as they do not wish to be associated in any way in the public mind with any policy that connects with Hitler’s Germany.

So it’s all about the next election. Realpolitik, no more, no less,

Or maybe it has something to do with more personal considerations, which should have no place in deciding party policy. But that’s for you to know.

In any event, the Labour Party is now an embarrassment to a significant number of its supporters – and ex-supporters – as the present membership count clearly demonstrates compared to the count when Jeremy Corbyn was leader.

Now, I do not expect this letter on its own to make any substantial difference to your way of thinking, or any difference at all

You are fully aware of the effect the punitive actions are having which you are taking against the Jews in your party who oppose Israel’s violent oppressions in Palestine and its systematic displacement of the Palestinian people from their own homes; and you are fully aware of the deleterious effect these and other actions of yours are having on the whole of your party.

You clearly have an agenda which does not include these things as matters of any importance.

Notwithstanding, I feel that I must express my personal outrage that you should lend your support to a violently oppressive, racist, militaristic, nationalist and expansionist state whose pretense that it is a democracy is nothing but a sham.

Why would you stand alongside the extreme right-wingers, the neo-Nazis and the altright, in their support for a regime which is both offering them a simple solution to the problem of where Jews should be sent to and giving them practical lessons in how to treat racial minorities? Why stand with a state which for all its claims that it is a Jewish state is severely undermining the fight against anti-Semitism in the world?

I am a Jew and proud of it. I resent the Zionists telling me that they are acting in my name and my best interests when both of these things are blatantly untrue. Also, I am English, and I love my country with all its faults. But I resent you as the leader of a party which has always opposed itself to narrow nationalism pretending that you are acting in my interests when you support a state whose brand of nationalism is creating such agony for a people whose worst crime is to be in its way.

You are a deep disappointment to those of us who expect a leader of the British Labour Party to stand up to extreme right-wing nationalists such as govern from the Knesset.

So do not read this is a plea for change. You have no intention of listening to people like me however much we protest.

However, consider that eventually you may find yourself being held to account in the court of public opinion for your failure to address one of the great humanitiarian crises of the modern world, as the opposition to the Israeli regime grows stronger each day, in the UK, in the USA, in Israel itself, and around the world, a significant part of that growing opposition being Jewish.

I for one look forward to that day.

Sincerely,
Richard A Snell.

ANSWERING ISRAEL: LIST OF WEBSITES UPDATE

(Please save this list to your computer, and share it too. It may prove to be very useful either when informing people of the issues relating to the Israel/Palestine situation or when debating those issues with Israel’s supporters.)

Israel and its followers, such as the Labour Party leadership in the UK, wish us to believe that Israel is a fully democratic state, but the Palestinians have no right to a share in that democracy.
The underlying assumption, which the more militant Zionists insist on as the indisputable truth, is that Israel lives according to civilised values, but that the Palestinians do not.
The logic of that outlook is that Israeli Jews want to be defended against the Palestinians by any means available, because the Palestinians want simply to destroy Israel.
A patient reading of these websites will surely debunk this simplistic, and ultimately dangerous, view.
Even these few sources indicate very strongly that there are a significant number of Israelis who do not see Palestine as an enemy to Israel but recognise that it is a victim of Israel’s territorial ambitions. It’s clear, too, that Israel does not have universal support from world Jewry.
It also becomes very plain that the Palestinians are a civilised people who do not routinely want Jewish blood, but are simply looking for the day when they can live in peace in their own land and according to their own custom.
Indeed, it may well be that these pages will leave people with the idea that Israel is nothing like the kind of democratic state it claims to be.
My own view is that nobody who believes in the right of each and every nation to determine for itself who governs it should accept that Israel, despite all its claims, shares in this belief.

(N.B. This list is not exhaustive and is subject to revision)


‘Days of Palestine’ reports mainly on the ongoing news from Palestine as it relates to the activities of the Israeli armed forces and on the responses to Israel’s policies regarding Palestine.

‘Medical Aid for Palestinians’ (MAP) is a British-based charity dedicated both to providing medical care in Palestine and to make known the consequences to the Palestinian people of the Israeli occupation.

https://www.map.org.uk/

‘Friends of Berzeit University’ is a Palestinian organisation campaigning for an educational system in Palestine free of disruptive and damaging Israeli pressure.
https://fobzu.org/
‘Al Haq’ is a Palestinian human rights organisation which monitors all abuses of human rights in Israel and in Palestine. Its independence is indicated by its willingness to criticise the Palestinian authorities when the occasion arises.
https://www.alhaq.org/
‘Addamir’ is a Palestinian human rights organisation dedicated to protecting the rights of Palestinians in Israeli prisons
https://www.alhaq.org/

‘Bisan’ is a Palestinian organisation dedicated to developing social and educational programmes which aim towards achieving a genuinely fair and free society in Palestine.

https://www.bisan.org/
‘The Union of Agricultural Workers Committee’ is a Palestinian organisation dedicate to devloping agricultural programmes in Palestine and countering Israel’s attempt to wreck Palestine’s rural economy.
https://www.uawc-pal.org/
‘Breaking the Silence’ consists of accounts by Israeli armed forces personnel of what they are ordered to do in Palestinian areas, and what the consequences of obeying those orders are both to them and to the Palestinians they deal with. It is an Israeli organisation.

https://www.breakingthesilence.org.il/

‘Dissent’ is an Israeli socialist magazine which, while carrying no brief for the Palestinian authorities, is highly critical of Israel’s policies towards Palestine. It is a Jewish publication.
https://www.dissentmagazine.org/

‘B’Tselem’ is an Israeli human rights organisation dedicated to defending the Palestinians’ human rights and exposing examples of those rights being violated by the Israeli government.
It is an Israeli organisation
https://www.btselem.org/

‘Refuser Solidarity Network’ (RSN) provides support for the Shministim (high school leavers refusing to be conscripted) and others who refuse to serve in the Israeli armed forces as a matter of conscience. It is an Israeli organisation.
https://www.refuser.org/who-we-are

Physicians for Human Rights’ is a world-wide humanitarian organisation dedicated to tackling issues of public health around the world, especially as those issues are caused by human rights abuses. It oppose Israel’s occupation of Palestine.
https://phr.org/
‘International Jewish Anti-Zionist Network’ (IJAN) is an international organisation protesting against Israeli Zionism in principle and against Israel’s occupation in practise. It is a Jewish organisation.
http://www.ijan.org/’

‘Jewish Voice for Peace’ is a USA-based organisation campaigning for peace between Israel and Palestine based on full recognition of Palestinian human, legal and economic rights. It’s main effort is in changing the US government’s policies as they concern Israel.
https://jewishvoiceforpeace.org/faq/
‘Lawyers for Palestinian Human Rights’ is a British-based organisation concerned with defending the legal right of Palestinians in the face of Israeli injustices.
https://lphr.org.uk/

The ‘Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions’ movement calls for a worldwide boycott of trade and investment with Israel and has the ultimate aim of forcing Israel to end its occupation of Palestine. It is supported by many Jews.
https://bdsmovement.net/
‘Amnesty’ is an international human rights organisation which is highly critical of Israel’s actions in Palestine.
https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/campaigns/2017/06/israel-occupation-50-years-of-dispossession/
The United Nations is the largest and most powerful inter-governmental agency in the world, its main function being to maintain peaceful relationships between nations despite their differences. It has a policy of strengthening human rights and has been a constant critic of Israel’s approach to human rights in Palestine.

https://www.un.org/unispal/

‘Jewish Voice for Labour’ is a Jewish socialist affiliate of the UK Labour Party, but is highly critical both of Israel’s occupation of Palestine and of the Labour Party’s current policy of giving Israel its unqualified support.
https://www.jewishvoiceforlabour.org.uk/
‘Jews for Justice for Palestine’ (JJP) is a British Jewish organisation campaigning for a just peace for both Israel and Palestine based on the end of the occupation and respect for the Palestinians’ human rights.
https://jfjfp.com/
‘Palestine Solidarity Campaign’ is a worldwide organisation campaigning against Israel’s actions in Palestine. It is actively opposed to antisemitism.
https://www.palestinecampaign.org/

ANSWERING ISRAEL: A LIST OF WEBSITES

Israel and its followers, such as the Labour Party leadership in the UK, wish us to believe that Israel is a fully democratic state, despite the Arabs and Palestinians who reside there or in the occupied territories having no right to a share in that democracy.
The underlying assumption, which the more militant Zionists insist on as the indisputable truth, is that Israeli Jews live according to civilised values, but the Israeli Arabs and the Palestinians do not.
The logical outcome of that perspective is that Israeli Jews need to be defended against the Palestinians by any means available, because the Palestinians, without justification, want simply to destroy Israel.
A patient reading of the websites I list below will surely debunk this simplistic, and ultimately dangerous, view.
Even these few sources indicate very strongly that there are a significant number of Israelis who do not see Palestine as an enemy to Israel but recognise that it is a victim of Israel’s territorial ambitions. It’s clear, too, that Israel does not have universal support from world Jewry.
It also becomes very plain that the Palestinians are a civilised people who do not routinely want Jewish blood, but are simply looking for the day when they can live in peace in their own land and according to their own custom.
Indeed, it may well be that these pages will leave people with the idea that Israel is nothing like the kind of democratic state it claims to be.
My own view is that nobody who believes in the right of all nations to determine for themselves how they are governed should accept that Israel, despite all its claims, shares in this belief.

(N.B. This list is not exhaustive and is subject to revision)


‘1. Days of Palestine’ reports mainly on the ongoing news from Palestine as it relates to the activities of the Israeli armed forces and on the responses to Israel’s policies regarding Palestine.

https://daysofpalestine.ps/

2. ‘Friends of Berzeit University’ is a Palestinian organisation campaigning for an educational system in Palestine free of disruptive and damaging Israeli pressure.


https://fobzu.org/


3. ‘Al Haq’ is a Palestinian human rights organisation which monitors all abuses of human rights in Israel and in Palestine. Its independence is indicated by its willingness to criticise the Palestinian authorities when the occasion arises.


https://www.alhaq.org/


4. ‘Addamir’ is a Palestinian human rights organisation dedicated to protecting the rights of Palestinians in Israeli prisons


https://www.alhaq.org/

5. ‘Bisan’ is a Palestinian organisation dedicated to developing social and educational programmes which aim towards achieving a genuinely fair and free society in Palestine.

Home


6. ‘The Union of Agricultural Workers Committee’ is a Palestinian organisation dedicate to devloping agricultural programmes in Palestine and countering Israel’s attempt to wreck Palestine’s rural economy.


https://www.uawc-pal.org/


7.’Breaking the Silence’ consists of accounts by Israeli armed forces personnel of what they are ordered to do in Palestinian areas, and what the consequences of obeying those orders are both to them and to the Palestinians they deal with. It is an Israeli organisation.

https://www.breakingthesilence.org.il/

8. ‘Dissent’ is an Israeli socialist magazine which, while carrying no brief for the Palestinian authorities, is highly critical of Israel’s policies towards Palestine. It is a Jewish publication.


https://www.dissentmagazine.org/

9. ‘B’Tselem’ is an Israeli human rights organisation dedicated to defending the Palestinians’ human rights and exposing examples of those rights being violated by the Israeli government.
It is an Israeli organisation


https://www.btselem.org/

10. ‘Refuser Solidarity Network’ (RSN) provides support for the Shministim (high school leavers refusing to be conscripted) and others who refuse to serve in the Israeli armed forces as a matter of conscience. It is an Israeli organisation.


https://www.refuser.org/who-we-are


11. ‘Physicians for Human Rights’ is a world-wide humanitarian organisation dedicated to tackling issues of public health around the world, especially as those issues are caused by human rights abuses. It opposes Israel’s occupation of Palestine.


https://phr.org/


12. ‘International Jewish Anti-Zionist Network’ (IJAN) is an international organisation protesting against Israeli Zionism in principle and against Israel’s occupation in practise. It is a Jewish organisation.


http://www.ijan.org/


13. ‘Lawyers for Palestinian Human Rights’ is a British-based organisation concerned with defending the legal right of Palestinians in the face of Israeli injustices.


https://lphr.org.uk/

14. The ‘Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions’ movement calls for a worldwide boycott of trade and investment with Israel and has the ultimate aim of forcing Israel to end its occupation of Palestine. It is supported by many Jews.


https://bdsmovement.net/


15. ‘Amnesty’ is an international human rights organisation which is highly critical of Israel’s actions in Palestine.


https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/campaigns/2017/06/israel-occupation-50-years-of-dispossession/


16. The United Nations is the largest and most powerful inter-governmental agency in the world, its main function being to maintain peaceful relationships between nations despite their differences. It has a policy of strengthening human rights and has been a constant critic of Israel’s approach to human rights in Palestine.

https://www.un.org/unispal/

17. ‘Jewish Voice for Labour’ is a Jewish socialist affiliate of the UK Labour Party, but is highly critical both of Israel’s occupation of Palestine and of the Labour Party’s current policy of giving Israel its unqualified support.


https://www.jewishvoiceforlabour.org.uk/

FIFTH FLOOR.

The view from my window here on the fifth floor of Southern Court in Penkhull is not quite so fascinating as those I had when I lived on the tenth story of Butler House, a block in Limehouse, East London.
There, to the east, from my kitchen, I could see all across East London and out into Essex, and across the Thames into Kent; to the west, from my living room, an infinity of towers, steeples, rooftops, stretching into the west of London beyond the horizon.
This was a so-called ‘pent-house’ flat, meaning that a block of six small flats had been fitted on to the roof of the main block.
This meant that we could go on the main block roof and see London stretching off in every direction.
There was also a ladder going up to the ‘penthouse’ roof, which allowed me – I’m not aware that any of my neighbours did this as well – to stand up high above the streets and see the whole 360% panorama of London with a single look.
From there I could see the great power-station cooling towers that then stood in Barking to the east, all in the same eyeline as Shooter’s Hill in Kent; there was also the blue height of Sydenham Hill way to the south, the unique silhouettes of the Houses of Parliament and St Paul’s cathedral to the west, and Alexandra Palace and the high lands at the northern edge of London.
I could also see the winding Thames, the whole bend of the river from the Pool of London to Limehouse Reach as it flowed southward round the Isle of Dogs with its tall cranes towering over the curves of the warehouse rooves.
And I could hear the noise of city coming from everywhere , the wonderful soft growling in the daytime, and the whispering at night.
London is so massive that from my viewpoint, as high as it was, it reached from horizon to horizon, or even, to east and west, far beyond it. And more than that: there was a fascination with the view.
It was my city; I had been raised there, had lived and worked there all my life, had experienced my fair share of joys and tragedies there; I knew it well, north (where I was a child), east, south and west. I knew its landmarks, its shopping-centres, its parks, its street -markets, its docklands, as well the obscure back-streets where people actually lived and laboured, anonymous to everyone but themselves and their own communities.
This was the city where my family, my friends, and indeed my lovers were. I spoke the language of London. I sang its songs.
And yet, when I looked down on it from the great height of the roof of Butler House, I realised then as I am very aware of now that as much as I thought I knew about London, in fact I knew hardly anything. There were vast areas of London I never got to see, except maybe for brief glimpses from buses or trains.
And the history of London – I could give you a brief account of that history as you might read it in a book; but of the lives of its people and the way they lived them, the incidents and events that gave those lives substance, the written, painted, or photographic accounts that gave them significance, are so very many, taken together telling a human story so complex and varied, so comical, so tragical, so dramatic, so strange, that no-one, even in two lifetimes, could grasp it all.
I know that because, out of sheer wonder, I have tried.
Even now, having lived away from London for approaching half my life, I still think of myself as a Londoner, and I still recall the London I was raised in with something more than just affection. I don’t live there of course, simply because I am of an age where making such a complicated move would be far too costly, and far too difficult. (The story of how I managed to get from London to Stoke-on-Trent in the first place is a whole other story, and not a simple one.)
So, from here, my little cottage in the sky, I can see – from left to right – the tree-lined fields of the moorlands rising up ; a church, a town-hall, a sloping grassy hill with a radio-tower, a greened-over slag-heap, the countless rooves of suburban houses, and some bleak warehouses. A somewhat tedious view.
This is no reflection on the good people of Stoke-on-Trent who are justly proud of their city for its incredible history and the lasting reputation it has won in the world; and I have my own friends here after all.
And it also has the advantage of every part of it being adjacent to the vastness of the Staffordshire moorlands, which are as beautiful and as dramatic as any other such region on this island, and which I have come to know for their refreshing silence.
But none of this is London, and as a Londoner, that is something of which I will always be very aware.

WHAT DOES FLAT-EARTHERY SHARE WITH ZIONISM?

I’ve recently been in debate with so-called ‘Flat-Earthers’. The main tenet of their belief is right there in the name.
The ‘Flat-Earthers’ not only doubt that the world is spherical, but deduce from this that all the sciences are false, being designed solely to further the cause of those dark forces who seek to control humankind using lies and deceit.
The most notorious example of this kind of thinking is their claim that the US expeditions to the moon never took place.
I have also for many years been in constant debate with Zionists, those who believe that Jews should have their own nation-state, and that it should be in the land from where Jews according to Scripture were expelled some two thousand years ago.
To this end, modern Israel has taken upon itself the task, using every kind of violence and intimdation, of subjugating the non-Jewish inhabitants of Palestine for whom Palestine is their ancient ancestral home.
Now, I have a huge problem with both of Flat-Earthery and Zionism, which is their mutual willingness to ignore whatever rational, demonstrable and objectively-arrived-at evidence contradicts their own fallacious analyses, these analyses being based on propaganda, half-truths, misconceptions and prejudices.
They also have a well-practised ability to manufacture evidence and present it as proof. In the case of the Flat-Earthers by creating simplistic and often irrational hypotheses, and in the case of the Zionists by writing their own very partial version of history: all of this is then put forward as irrefutable fact.
The Flat-Earthers also make a claim that that Zionists do: that those of us who contradict them with actual evidence, with observable fact, have all been ‘brainwashed’.
They are also all very good at refusing to acknowledge uncomfortable questions when they’re asked. Their response to that generally is to do one of two things: ask diversionary questions, of the kind now commonly referred to as ‘what-aboutery’, or make personal, even abusive, comments regarding any given individual who disagrees with them, ‘gaslighting’, as it is now termed.
Now, I can’t claim to know everything, and I admit there are many, many questions I can’t answer, not till I’ve done the research anyway. But I know enough to know that what I have been taught about certain subjects has by-and-large been accurate, because the evidence has been overwhelming, and stands up to every kind of logical and methodical scrutiny.
Of course I don’t have to like what I know: I’ve had to modify my political views a few times in my life when I have learned that my judgments have been based on ignorance and I have believed in things which were untrue.
But like every-one else, I have to accept truth when it presents itself, and the fact, which gives me no cause to lose any sleep, that the earth is spherical is one of them.
As indeed is the fact, which has definitely kept me awake at nights, that the nation my grandparents helped found and which I used to believe represented hope for the Jewish people, is governed by the kind of ghastly politics I have opposed for as long as I have been able to think.
Regarding Israel, when I became aware of the contradiction between the actual truth and what was being presented to me by the Zionists as truth, I spent a lot of time trying, painfully, to somehow reconcile the two, an impossible struggle I expect many other Jews have also faced when confronting both the inhumanity of the Holocaust and the inhumanity of the Israeli occupation of Palestine.
In the end, of course, there could be no reconciliation. I had to accept that Israel was nothing like what I wanted it to be and ought to be.
It was far easier to accept that the earth, the solar-system, the galaxies even unto the farthest reaches of observable space, were and are much as they have always been represented to me.
Flat-Earthers, Zionists, both deal in fantasy and cannot accept it when they hear all the reasonable and factual alternatives to their fantasy.
I’m not going debate with ‘Flat-Earthers’ any more; there’s no point to it.
Sadly, I can’t let the Zionists and Israel go. At least the Flat-Earthers aren’t killing people.
This is a brief summary of my thinking on this topic. I will be expanding on many of these issues at one point or another in the future.

Not a Blog…

Right, I’ve got this blog (I still hate that word – it’s ugly and boring – maybe I should give my blog a friendly nickname, like – I don’t know – let’s say, ‘Journal’. Yes, that will do. Start again – )
O.K., so I’ve got this ‘journal’ (yea, it works!), but I’m not sure what to do with it.
I don’t mean I don’t know what to write about. I mean I know what to write about but I don’t know where to begin.
There is so much I want to say about so many things, that when I start thinking about one thing I end up thinking about a score of other things, and I find myself swimming in a stormy sea made up of facts, ideas, imaginings, memories, speculations, all crashing against and simultaneously coalescing with each other in a manner which is in no way conducive to any kind of constructive concentration.
The result of this is that I have a series of files building up on my computer, each one taking on a different topic, but none of them even approaching completion.
That’s what comes of having what is known in psychiatric circles as a ‘grasshopper’ mind. And it’s not just about the way I think, it’s about the way I’ve lived my life.
There have been a few central focusses in that life: my love of music, which is a subject I intend to take on, since I have certain opinions abut the way music works these days that I really feel the need to make known; and my political views, which I must either put on record or watch my head burst, so passionately do I feel about them.
But otherwise – and there are a number of similes that suggest themselves as well as the ‘grasshopper’ one – I have flitted from interest to interest as a butterfly flits from flower to flower or a songbird flits from tree to tree.
Some things I have gone into for the pleasure of it: story-telling, poetry, ornithology, chess, football, ship-modelling, cycling, drawing. Others, because I need to understand how the universe works and how I fit into it: science, philosophy, religion, mythology, and of course politics.
There are also many experiences I have had of life which I feel the need to pass on, partly because like all other creative people I want to leave something of my life behind me when life itself is over; but also because many of them are just plain entertaining, be that entertainment comical or tragical.
I am not talking only about the stories and anecdotes here which speak of the many and varied circumstances of my life; I am also talking about the countless observations I have made of the world around me which have impressed themselves on my mind like pictures hung in a gallery: those odd moments when I have seen something that has moved me in some way and which I can never forget.
So the question is, where and how should I go on from here?
Actually, having written all this, I have an idea about that. Let’s see now………

MAKING ‘WHITE MONKEY’

I have suffered – or perhaps more meaningfully, I have been fighting – depression for most of my life. I am seventy-five years old at the time of writing and I would say that I have been experiencing this condition for some sixty-seven years. It has affected me in different ways at different times, sometimes in a way that is at least manageable, at other times causing me horrific anguish. But it is always there to some degree, even when my circumstances have been good and any reasonable person would expect to be content.
At this point, I should be going on to describe what chronic depression is, so that my readers have some idea of what I’m talking about. I suppose I could try, but I have found that writing about the kinds of pain that depression causes is itself a cause of pain, and starting to write about it doesn’t necessarily mean I can go on to a reasonable finish.
I know that doesn’t make much sense to those who haven’t experienced this illness, but of course it wouldn’t. True understanding can only come through hard experience.
So how do I come to be writing this?
Because any proper understanding of depression – or mental illness generally – is severely limited in our largely unsympathetic society, with profound misconceptions standing in its place.
And these misconceptions tend to lead towards prejudice, this prejudice in its turn leaning towards bigotry, joining racism, anti-Semitism, and all the other forms of discrimination which seek to punish people who do no harm solely for being who they are, for being ‘different’ or ‘inferior’.
Which is why I decided a while ago that however much pain it caused me, I would try to find some way that might be effective in communicating the sensation of being depressed to those who have no personal knowledge of it.
There is, thankfully, an increasing, though still insufficient, public willingness now to discuss ‘mental health issues’ (a neat catch-all phrase) and to debate exactly what those issues are and how they should be dealt with; and I wanted to be part of that very necessary discussion. I asked myself how could I, with my particular experiences and talents best achieve that.
So I sought the help of my friend Darren Washington, who is a film-maker with whom I had already done some work. I wrote a short book which I asked Darren to have a look at and see if he couldn’t use it as a ‘treatment’ for a film.
(I called it ‘White Monkey’ after a character who appeared to me in a vivid dream I had in my twenties when I was having severe struggles with life, and who in that dream, which has been animated for the film, asked me a question in a way I have never been able to forget, since it was a crucial question for which, as naively simple as it is, I have yet to find a complete and satisfying answer: ‘who are you?’)
We have worked hard to turn the ‘treatment’ into reality, and I am proud of what we have produced so far.
I say ‘so far’: this film is taking a lot longer than we would like to complete. The pandemic, and especially the lockdown, has limited our progress in a number of ways: we struggled to find occasions when we could film safely, our choice of locations was desperately limited, our ability to involve other people was severely hampered, and of course, funding was very hard to come by.
However, we have been able to progress, albeit slowly, because of the nature of the film itself. It is not a single narrative telling a story in consecutive scenes with a beginning, a middle and an end. I could not handle my theme in that way, and filming it would have been logistically very hard.
So what we have done is try to encapsulate as best we can the different moods that typify depression each in a distinctive way, building up a series of short films, all inter-related but each using its own characteristic cinematic idiom.
Which is fair enough, as depression has many aspects to it, and all the various occasions of life prompt very differing responses and many contrasting moods.
The result is a compendium of short films which work together to make a complete film, but can also each be shown separately as a meaningful film in its own right.
Thus it is hard to tell when ‘White Monkey’ will be complete, but it will be completed, that much we have promised ourselves. Then, we hope, we will have produced something of value to those who are dealing with depression, both as sufferers and as the people, professional or otherwise, who wish to help them and can use this film to extend their understanding.
That will help me feel a whole lot better about myself at least. I will have made something worthwhile out of my life, and given how hard it is for me and for most depressives to feel that their lives have any kind of value to themselves, never mind to any-one else, that will make whatever years remain to me on this earth a little more bearable.

A Few Words About Me

Just a few details – I’m a 75-year-old with an English father (Devon) and a German-Jewish mother (Westphalian). I was raised in Hampstead, North London, but moved to Tower Hamlets in East London, before moving up to Stoke-on-Trent some thirty two years ago.
I once worked variously as a street labourer, a cleaner, a factory-hand, a warehouseman, a postman, a riverman, and various other short-term jobs, none of them lasting more than ten months, before finally becoming a teacher, which I was for twenty-five years before I finally retired.
My father was a fine pianist, and gave me a taste for music which led me towards classical music and jazz, but also ultimately to British traditional music, which when I was in London I was thought good enough to perform alongside of some of the great names of the day, the most prominent of whom was Ewan McColl, who taught me many lessons about music, art and life, both positive and negative.
I have over a hundred beautiful British songs in my repertoire, and I wish that such songs were better respected in our quasi-American culture. I can also get music out of about ten instruments, but the one I can say I have some mastery of is the fiddle. I have also composed two- to three-hundred tunes, which have I am gratified to say attracted other musicians.
Of course, my life was much more complicated than these few words can convey. I have lived at about fourteen different addresses altogether, having also had a taste of unemployment and homelessness. It has also been scarred by various debilitating physical illnesses and a chronic depression begun in my early childhood and persisting to this day.
I have been in many relationships, some of which are painful to recall, but most of which I remember with great fondness.
Now I live alone in a one-bedroom flat on the fifth floor of a Stoke-on-Trent tower block, facing all the struggles that ‘senior citizens’ (otherwise known as old-age pensioners) must face living in a run-down and deprived area which has struggled not only with a dying economy but also in recent times with the Covid pandemic.
I have very strong political views, which veer to the left more than somewhat, but I have never been and never will be a member of any political party since I have yet to find a party that truly represents my particular views: and in any case I have been known to change my opinions when the occasion warrants such change. I wish to retain my independence of thought and action.
But my interests have always been far wider than just the politics and the music . I have always interested myself in many different things at one time or another in my life. I own a library of about two thousand books covering just about every kind of literature there is – novels, poetry, philosophy, politics, drama, religion, history, science, art, and chess. I have, despite all obstacles, somehow managed to find much in my life that has made it worth living.
Also, for what it’s worth, I am a long-time supporter of my home-town club, Arsenal FC – a true Gooner. Come on you reds.
Which brings me to why I’m writing this blog.
Putting it simply, I intend to speak my mind on any and every topic that suggests itself to me as being in any way interesting.
That could be anything. It all depends on how I feel on the day.
Sometimes, knowing me, I will be quiet and contemplative, musing on the various wonders the world has to offer; at other times I will no doubt find reason to complain about my lot in life; while at other times I will be loud and opinionated when it concerns the great issues which affect us all.
I can do this because we live in an age where technologies such as WordPress allow us to communicate our thoughts and ideas round the world almost at the speed of light, and for those of us who are not fit to make the complicated, long-winded, and often fruitless effort of getting our works published in print, that is a boon and a blessing. And also, like most people who find themselves living alone, I need some kind of contact with the world outside my four walls. This, when I feel alone, is a good way of talking to people instead of always to myself.
So here I am, for you who are reading this to make of whatever you will.
Enjoy.